A Crime Scene in Our Town

Today a very interesting thing happened. It's making our town look like it has to be removed. There are too many thieves here, including, my friend, P.

I was over on the side of my neighbor's house with P. and there are windows on the sides of their house and one of the screens was broken while the window was open. Their laptop was right next to the window. P. said, "Let's get that free laptop!" I backed out of it. He said I was small enough to crawl through, I still backed out of it. So, I went over to check on my chickens and see if there were eggs. I went back to P. but he was gone, with the laptop. I saw him running over to the cow field. Then, he ran back to his house.

About 20 minutes later, the little girl who lived in that apartment with the broken screen, and her uncle, were over at our house, looking for the laptop. They talked to my mom and me, and my mom said she didn't know anything about it. Except me, I knew everything. They asked me and I told them it was probably at P.'s house. We went over and got it. P. had it under the porch.

When I came over I even heard him say, "You came over to check out my new laptop?" and I said, "No." He said, "Well, I'm going to sell it." I took it out from under his porch and he asked, "What are you doing?" I said, "Taking it back. It's not yours and you know that. Stealing someone else's stuff and then selling it? Not cool." And then the little kids showed up with their uncle. P. went over to the little kids' house with his mom and apologized.

Slug Soup, About Me

A Trip to Portland

The idea was to go to Portland on my birthday. It came from me because I wanted to do it because my brother Henry did it. I rode the bus to Portland by myself. I'm big enough, I don't need my mom to drop me off. I mean, I'd love to have her drop me off, but I wanted to do something on my own.

Obviously, the driver was drunk. Everything was like CGRRRR! and when you looked at the road, the bus was swerving. My bike almost got left on the bus, but Uncle David saved my life.

He had to run all the way to in front of the bus to tell them that we left my bike. We ate at a Subway, as soon as I got there. I went to OMSI. We saw the geology exhibit, the archeologists exhibit. We did the jungle exhibit. I saw some animals. Here are few things I saw: Alaskan Scorpions. Isn't that something? A Black River-Swimming Lizard, a chameleon, an iguana. I found a beetle about the size of a full-grown man's ear. I saw a tarantula (my first), two snakes, and some bullfrogs, and a huuuge grass lizard.

Portland isn't much of a place for a lot of rain. So, if you want rain, come to Tillamook. Trust me, it's not even that sunny in the summer. When it's summer in Portland, you have to have Capri Sun Supreme Cold with ice in it. Anyway, back the to the point. I had fun. Made a guy fall into the river. Yeah, I did. He was on his bike, swerving around people, and I was in his way and he turned too sharply and he went off of cliff and into the water.

Took some pictures of ducks. Squirrel, got to see a real live squirrel, finally.

Just got to see Portland itself. I hung out with my Uncle David and he popped his tire actually, he got a piece of wire stuck in it. But, God saved us all, there was a bike repair shop nearby. I hung out at the gas station and bought some crap. He bought an Arizona Iced Tea, and just let me have a sip. DON'T WORRY, MOM. JUST A SIP. (Because she knows Arizona Iced Tea is bad for you.) P.S. Try not to tell my mom, but next time I get some allowance I'm going to buy a whole six pack of Arizona Iced Tea.

Happy Almost Easter, People!

Easter is on Sunday, the 24th. I think it's my favorite holiday because you actually have to do something to earn what you get in that holiday, not just wait to get what you want. I hope to do an Easter egg hunt. I'm going to go with my friend to the park on Sunday, to go on an Easter egg hunt.
The Easter Bunny is just a hoax. Seriously, I mean, he steals Santa's idea. He has a basket of eggs, like a sack of presents. He lays stuff out. He's pretty much just stupid.

The Tooth Fairy! I get more than just a "visit" from the tooth fairy. I get a certificate for $5 and some ice cream and some gum. That's why I like my parents better than some stupid old fairy that doesn't exist.

I don't really want to be human.

It's kind of stupid. There's an animal living on this planet, just doing his thing, just living life. Suddenly someone comes along. "Oh! I hope they're here to help find food or something. oh, no? They're here to take our food and take us and do weird experiments on us and destroy our homes. Oh, that completely screwed up my life. Now I don't have any food and I'm in this weird place. Well that sucks. Oh, they're going to kill my family. Okay. So I'm supposed to live like this right? Oh, well, I don't want to live like this now. I don't want to live okay? I'm dead. Oh, and I go to hell. Okay. I go to hell. What did I do wrong? I just lived my life and I live in hell. And I remember my old life."

Don't do this.

Don't try to be like your parents when you grow up. Do you know why? Because your parents made mistakes in their life too.

One particular thing I will do when I grow up.

Today is about me dying.  Not dying today.  When I get old and I feel I will die, I'm going to always keep a few matches and a belt with a gasoline tub strapped to my belt.  And, when I die, I will kill myself.  I'll pour the gasoline on myself.  And, without screaming, I'll take the match and I will drop it on myself.  I will very calmly fall to the ground and burn up.  And I will remain a skeleton. 

Return of the Chinese Boxer

Very very fake, I can tell.  Very fake kung-fu in the beginning.  Fake Chinese talking and fake Chinese symbols.  But it was still good.  Not all of the Chinese fighting was fake.  In a little tournament, these people fight and there was a bit of blood.  The best fighter there is an old man.  He's a bald old man guy with a spear.  My favorite, he dies though, he has a scythe.  He has a mini scythe, like a cleaver, with a chain attached to it and he'll swing it around with one hand or attack with the cleaver.  And they put their lives in a little fight, but they get a good thing if they win.  This little pearl, like a little diamond, and a sword.

This guy with the gun, he is evil.  Or you could say evil.  He's just one of the enemies.  Guns are his weapons.  He dies, of course.  The main character kicks his ass.  The main character kicks everyone's ass.  The main character kicks a target's ass in the beginning. 

This guy is an enemy.  He always calls over his soldiers when he wants to kill someone and he's a little crybaby.  He's my least favorite evil character. 

The enemy took a little jug of liquid and they poured it over the guys that died in the tournament to make them zombies.  They weren't like zombies like putting their hands before them and saying , "BRAINZ".   They were indestructable.  They'd choke people and then let go and then they'd fall over.  The hero's little friend has a bunch of throwing knives and little explosives and they blow the zombies up at the end.

Thanks to Cole and his friends.  He suggested queue de grace and gave me all these awesome movies.  It was fun.  Next it's time for me to pick for Cole.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

It was an awesome movie.  Godzilla is, of course, the King of Monsters, and he dies in the end, of course.  But who knows?  He may be dead.  He may be not dead.   

I think that when they put Raymond Burr in the movie, this American character, they really screwed it up.  Really made it stupid.  He just stands around and when he sees Godzilla, he doesn't really scream, he just stands there like, "I'm about to get squished".

Godzilla just came and he was like, "I'm just going to do my thing here." and everyone was like, "Your THING is squishing our HOME." And Godzilla was like, "Eh, whatever."  A scientist made a fish suffocator, which is pretty cool.  It destroys oxygen under water.  In the end they use that to defeat Godzilla, because, as you may know, he comes out of the water.

It's starting to sound like Creature from the Black Lagoon because he has very rough and tough skin, and he's underwater, and he comes up to kill everyone.  Another thing is that he dies underwater and someone dies trying to kill him. Godzilla from the Black Lagoon!  Heh, he probably couldn't fit in there though. 

Godzilla can breathe fire by the way.  He's practically a dragon/dinosaur.  This one guy totally got toasted.

He went for this electricity tower.  I think that was the most exciting part.  He caught it on fire.

There was a war and a nuclear bomb was dropped on Japan, and this dust came out of the bomb and killed many. The director made the movie to tell how they felt in that war.  Godzilla was like the USA, crushing a little Japanese island. 

THE END :!

Duck Soup

It was a really funny movie.  I know all of these characters.  They are from a video off of YouTube that I've watched before.  They're called the Marx Brothers and they're hilarious.

Harpo is my favorite.  He can't talk.  He's a really funny one.  He cuts everything with scissors, he keeps burning this guy's hat, and he can play piano because there's a harp inside the piano.  And, his name is Harpo because he's good at playing the harp.

Groucho is really funny too.  He, in Duck Soup, is the president.  He decides the things of the country.  He makes funny decisions.  Like he always steals peoples' whatever.  He always steals them.

Now, Chico works against Rufus T. Firefly, which is Groucho, and Chico is a hilarious character.  I really like him.  He works at a peanut stand, he can play piano, he's pretty much good at all the musical instruments. He's just funny.  The movie is great.

There's a part in the movie with this mirror and I thought that was a funny part.  Someone breaks a mirror and he copies the guy that looks in the mirror.  He just goes on the other side and copies him.
Wouldn't  that be funny?  If I just broke a mirror in my house and copied whoever looked at it?

I think the funniest joke is the motorcycle and the side car.  There's a side car on the motorcycle, and, Rufus T. Firefly is driving. Harpo is in the sidecar and he starts it and the sidecar goes off instead of the motorcycle!

It's a wild f''d up world out there in the TVs. 

the end :o

Creature from the Black Lagoon

Creature from the Black Lagoon was a pretty good movie, but the DUN DUNNNNN DUN DUNN DUDUNNN! all the time got annoying.  There are these scientists that find stuff for a museum, like skeleton fossils.  They find one and it's the hand of one of the creatures, the Creature from The Black Lagoon.  They went extinct, but there's one left.  So, they deal with him.

The creature didn't really have an expression, because he's an animal.  He's like a thing.  He still has a life, but he's something we don't know about and we don't know what his expressions mean.  He gets shown in the movie.  He's pretty cool. He's my favorite character, probably.  He dies in the end, of course.

He went into his house a lot.  He has this little cave, and he goes there after they shoot him, to heal. He pulls out the spears that they shoot at him. They shoot him with a spear gun, but it took a few shots because he had tough skin plates. So they kill him in the end.  I'm thinking they should go after the dead body and bring it back to the museum.

For some reason he never killed this girl in the movie.  She was practically everyone's alarm that the thing was there.  She always screamed when she saw it.

I bet the real Creature from the Black Lagoon, in real life, will come to our house soon and thank us for watching his movie.  I would demand my parents to put a giant pool in the back yard.  I want a home for him, because he's awesome. 

THE END AND I MEAN THE END OF THE END :3

Time Bandits

I liked the movie because it was just wild.  Like first, a knight busted through this kid's wardrobe. Then he figured out it was just a dream.  And then, the Time Bandits busted through his wardrobe.

 That's where the title comes in.    When the Time Bandits busted in, it wasn't a dream.  They're bandits because they stole a map.  It's like a special kind of map.  They stole it because they wanted to be rich.  So they go to all kinds of different places.


Napoleon was rich, as everyone knows, so they want to steal from him.
I especially liked the Napoleon part.  Napoleon's cool.  His laugh and his accent and I actually think it's funny that he's small.   And he likes to watch puppets because they're smaller than him.  But the puppet guy dies so he gets mad. 

So the entertainer tries to come up with all these other things but Napoleon doesn't like them because they're taller than him.

But then the Time Bandits come!  They're like midgets.  They came through the little curtains and they entertained him because they're smaller than him.

Evil is a character in the movie.  Of course, he's the villain.

He's Evil.  He dies in the end.  And, of course, the "good guys" -_-  almost get defeated, but then they win and Evil dies.  It just happens in the end of every movie.


Terry Gilliam, the director of the movie, is trying to teach you something.  Like things aren't always what they are.  There might be 3,000 dollars sitting there and who knows, it might be a hologram.   This was made way back then, so it looks kind of scratchy.  But hey, people do their best. 

THE END :U

About The Ghost and Mr. Chicken

I thought it was a scary movie, but I still liked it.  I know it's just a movie, but movies can be scary sometimes.  I think it was a nice movie.  The movie is about a murderer, and a reporter, and there's a newsguy and he gives Luther a hard time.

Luther, by the way, is the reporter.  He reports murderers and stuff like that.    Luther is so hilarious.  He says he has iron hands and he slaps people with them.  He slaps only Simmons with them and it doesn't work, so he completely throws himself against him.

The house of the Simmons was pretty scary.  It was this haunted mansion.  Luther saw a painting, went somewhere else for a while and came back to the painting; garden shears stuck in the painting with blood running down.  I thought it was pretty scary.   It's funny because the piano moved without even fingers there.  Luther was pretty scared and he ran out of the mansion, of course.  And then the piano was playing again when he was outside of the mansion (a different scene) and he willingly ran back into the mansion.  Don't you think that's funny?  He's scared at first, and then he wants to go back in and check it out.


Again, I think I would run for my fucking life if a piano was playing with nobody at it.  If there was blood on my piano, I would check everybody's pockets for knives.

Joan Staley, a cool actress, is a girl in the movie that Luther gets.  She has a nice car.

THE END $.$

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

It's raining cheeseburgers!  CHEESEBURGERS! CHEESEBURGERS!

  But with meat, the cheeseburgers are less and less good.  That's my opinion of meat.

I'm doing this thing with my friend, Cole.  He's awesome.  You may not think he is, which is fine.  I think he's an awesome person because he does all this cool stuff with me, and he has a blog, vitagraph, american.  Queue de Grace is where someone chooses a list of movies and that's all you're going to watch, all week.  You don't have to watch them.  You can tell the person who picked them that you don't want to watch them, if they're too grown-up for you; or too kiddish, if you're grown up.  But,  if you have a blog or a Facebook, you can post how good you thought they were.

Back to the movie and what it's about. The main character is Flint Lockwood.  He is a so-called scientist.  He makes inventions that are mad, like him!  He makes a food invention.  It creates food if you put water in the top.  So, he shoots it up into the air (not on purpose), and then it creates a giant meatball!  With flying pizza! And evil gummi bears!  In the beginning, he has spray on shoes and everyone thinks he's a nerd.  I'm sorry to give it away, but the spray on shoes save him in the end.

All that matters is that darn policeman's son.  All that matters is if he's alive.  Or is he?  dun dun DUN!  The policeman wants to be a good dad, because it's his son and it's his only son.  He asks Flint to do something on his birthday, especially for him. 

A Giant Jello Castle!  yah yah yah, blah blah blah romance KISS blah blah blah.

The mayor is going to get so fat that he's going to crush the town, sink all of the boats, all of that.

Well, in real life, if I had a giant doughnut crush me, that'd be kind of painful, but if it was raining ice cream, that'd be pretty cool.  I would go outside if it was raining ice cream.  And I'm pretty sure I'd run for my fucking life if I was being chased by a giant doughnut.  I mean, isn't that what humans do when something is going to crush them?

THE END OoO

HELLO TO THE WORLD!

Hello to the world, Facebook and Bloggers,
I want to say some very interesting things.

1. My brother is a big asshole today. He demands me to get off of his laptop when he has to do his ORVA (Oregon Virtual Academy).  It's in his style of talking to me.  He said it very rudely.  He said, "THOMAS GET OFF OF THE LAPTOP RIGHT NOW!  LIKE NOW!" Rude big asshole.
2. I'm going to start using rainbow colors.  Like this.  Don't you think it's pwetty? Rainy Rainbows, they rain on you if you're under them.  Rainbows are like one half of the world, but they're rainy.  Well, not exactly half, it's like half of a quarter, which would be an eighth of the world.

3. Our next door neighbors have a rabbit.  A new one, and they don't know how to take care of it.  I saw it hop around, just yesterday.

 I tried to catch it, because it's running around.  It ran under their porch, for some reason.  I set rabbit food there and went off to explore more of the outdoors.

That's all I'm going to say today folks, for my blog.  Bloggers, Goodnight! 

THE END :X

 

I'm Blue.

This is an awesome song.  The first time I remembered it is when I was watching Big Fat Liar the other day, a  movie on Netflix.  These kids trick a guy into diving in blue dye.  He's really rich, so he has a big pool.  And when he goes to take a shower, he puts orange dye in his hair, because his shampoo is orange.  They put glue on this earpiece he has, so it sticks to his ear, and they switch up the music player in his car so it plays that song.

I like the rhythm and all of that, and just the whole song itself.  Pretty nice song, if you ask me.  If you want to see if the other versions are better, just look it up on YouTube.  Just type in "I'm Blue".

New Year Resolutions

1. I REFUSE to kill girls on Roblox (an online role-playing game).  If girls come after me, I run for my freaking life.

2. My new job in the morning : to help my parents get firewood for our stove.  What I do is I put on my boots, I take the key, and the wood crate, I go out, open the door on our outbuilding and get block after block of wood to bring to our house.

3. I'm going to act better.