A New Life

RIP

Here lies Thomas Laszlo, the nine year old. He has shed his shell and is a brand new person. He is a ten year old! The nine year old you all knew and loved is now a brand new person. And he has new special powers!

LIKE: Get cans and go to the store by yourself!
OR: get on a bus with your brother and go to the mall without your parents!
And, mainly? THE BEST: DRINK HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP ALL DAY!!

It feels great to be ten. As I said, I am mature enough to go to the store by myself. I'm a decade old. In the last ten years, I learned Geometry and I learned never to drink Mountain Dew in front of C, my friend who loves Mountain Dew. He's five years ahead of me, so I learned that the hard way.

 And I also made it so that Laszlo's birthday is on my birthday. I declared that officially, in thine Britishith Army Accentith.

I'm trying to think of something we could do for Laszlo, besides the chew stick that mom gave him.  For his birthday, I bet he'd like to go to Mexico, where they'd have Laszlo food and he can hop around and be warm, because it's scorching there.

Anyway, thanks for all of the happy birthday wishes, guys.