Holiday Experience

This blog post is about what people are like on different holidays.

Thanksgiving: The only thing people want to do is constantly, politely, ask for the gravy, and hog all the turkey. And mothers are obsessed with getting the house clean and ready for themselves to dirty it up again.

Thanksgiving, in my eyes, is a pretty good holiday.

Christmas: It's the only time of year where all children wake up at the crack of dawn, and are allowed to wake up their parents, so they can fall on their asses down the stairs, because they think it's fun. And they get presents from "Santa."

Santa, wink wink

People tell children there's a Santa in this world and he brings you presents if you're good.
And, somewhere in those children's sixties, they get to know who Santa really was. And then, that's right when they know that there is no Santa, when they stop getting presents for "being good." It's like telling someone they're adopted before their final words. It's cruel.

Christmas is an okay holiday.

No folks, I did not leave out Hanukkah: Kind of like Christmas, although you already start out with toys. And there is no corny thing making you be good for your parents. Hanukkah is actually more than one day. It ends after all seven candles are blown out.

One of the best parts is the Hanukkah tops, the dreidels. It's a fun little game.

I don't know much about Hanukkah, but it sounds fun to celebrate.

Halloween: You get free candy. What can I say? Pretty badass!

Wait, it gets better! Unlike all of the other holidays, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter (no offense, Hanukkah) you can actually have PARTIES, where there are games, like bobbing for apples. (never tried it.)

 Halloween is a pretty fun holiday, until you go to one of those houses where someone's a jackass and scares you in the middle of the candy-giving.

There's also TPing. Now, TPing can't be done unless you have rotten eggs, to stick the TP to. In case you're wondering what TP stands for, it stands for toilet paper.

Easter: The worst part about it, is when your parents use real eggs. Because, if they use real eggs, and you don't find them in time, they start smelling bad. And your parents forget because they're watching the Daily Show, or something. The best thing about Easter is that, apparently, you can also have parties, and the searching part is actually pretty fun.

Valentine's Day: Gross Gross Gross, except for your family.

Done.