Happy Almost Easter, People!

Easter is on Sunday, the 24th. I think it's my favorite holiday because you actually have to do something to earn what you get in that holiday, not just wait to get what you want. I hope to do an Easter egg hunt. I'm going to go with my friend to the park on Sunday, to go on an Easter egg hunt.
The Easter Bunny is just a hoax. Seriously, I mean, he steals Santa's idea. He has a basket of eggs, like a sack of presents. He lays stuff out. He's pretty much just stupid.

The Tooth Fairy! I get more than just a "visit" from the tooth fairy. I get a certificate for $5 and some ice cream and some gum. That's why I like my parents better than some stupid old fairy that doesn't exist.

I don't really want to be human.

It's kind of stupid. There's an animal living on this planet, just doing his thing, just living life. Suddenly someone comes along. "Oh! I hope they're here to help find food or something. oh, no? They're here to take our food and take us and do weird experiments on us and destroy our homes. Oh, that completely screwed up my life. Now I don't have any food and I'm in this weird place. Well that sucks. Oh, they're going to kill my family. Okay. So I'm supposed to live like this right? Oh, well, I don't want to live like this now. I don't want to live okay? I'm dead. Oh, and I go to hell. Okay. I go to hell. What did I do wrong? I just lived my life and I live in hell. And I remember my old life."

Don't do this.

Don't try to be like your parents when you grow up. Do you know why? Because your parents made mistakes in their life too.

One particular thing I will do when I grow up.

Today is about me dying.  Not dying today.  When I get old and I feel I will die, I'm going to always keep a few matches and a belt with a gasoline tub strapped to my belt.  And, when I die, I will kill myself.  I'll pour the gasoline on myself.  And, without screaming, I'll take the match and I will drop it on myself.  I will very calmly fall to the ground and burn up.  And I will remain a skeleton. 

Return of the Chinese Boxer

Very very fake, I can tell.  Very fake kung-fu in the beginning.  Fake Chinese talking and fake Chinese symbols.  But it was still good.  Not all of the Chinese fighting was fake.  In a little tournament, these people fight and there was a bit of blood.  The best fighter there is an old man.  He's a bald old man guy with a spear.  My favorite, he dies though, he has a scythe.  He has a mini scythe, like a cleaver, with a chain attached to it and he'll swing it around with one hand or attack with the cleaver.  And they put their lives in a little fight, but they get a good thing if they win.  This little pearl, like a little diamond, and a sword.

This guy with the gun, he is evil.  Or you could say evil.  He's just one of the enemies.  Guns are his weapons.  He dies, of course.  The main character kicks his ass.  The main character kicks everyone's ass.  The main character kicks a target's ass in the beginning. 

This guy is an enemy.  He always calls over his soldiers when he wants to kill someone and he's a little crybaby.  He's my least favorite evil character. 

The enemy took a little jug of liquid and they poured it over the guys that died in the tournament to make them zombies.  They weren't like zombies like putting their hands before them and saying , "BRAINZ".   They were indestructable.  They'd choke people and then let go and then they'd fall over.  The hero's little friend has a bunch of throwing knives and little explosives and they blow the zombies up at the end.

Thanks to Cole and his friends.  He suggested queue de grace and gave me all these awesome movies.  It was fun.  Next it's time for me to pick for Cole.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

It was an awesome movie.  Godzilla is, of course, the King of Monsters, and he dies in the end, of course.  But who knows?  He may be dead.  He may be not dead.   

I think that when they put Raymond Burr in the movie, this American character, they really screwed it up.  Really made it stupid.  He just stands around and when he sees Godzilla, he doesn't really scream, he just stands there like, "I'm about to get squished".

Godzilla just came and he was like, "I'm just going to do my thing here." and everyone was like, "Your THING is squishing our HOME." And Godzilla was like, "Eh, whatever."  A scientist made a fish suffocator, which is pretty cool.  It destroys oxygen under water.  In the end they use that to defeat Godzilla, because, as you may know, he comes out of the water.

It's starting to sound like Creature from the Black Lagoon because he has very rough and tough skin, and he's underwater, and he comes up to kill everyone.  Another thing is that he dies underwater and someone dies trying to kill him. Godzilla from the Black Lagoon!  Heh, he probably couldn't fit in there though. 

Godzilla can breathe fire by the way.  He's practically a dragon/dinosaur.  This one guy totally got toasted.

He went for this electricity tower.  I think that was the most exciting part.  He caught it on fire.

There was a war and a nuclear bomb was dropped on Japan, and this dust came out of the bomb and killed many. The director made the movie to tell how they felt in that war.  Godzilla was like the USA, crushing a little Japanese island. 

THE END :!

Duck Soup

It was a really funny movie.  I know all of these characters.  They are from a video off of YouTube that I've watched before.  They're called the Marx Brothers and they're hilarious.

Harpo is my favorite.  He can't talk.  He's a really funny one.  He cuts everything with scissors, he keeps burning this guy's hat, and he can play piano because there's a harp inside the piano.  And, his name is Harpo because he's good at playing the harp.

Groucho is really funny too.  He, in Duck Soup, is the president.  He decides the things of the country.  He makes funny decisions.  Like he always steals peoples' whatever.  He always steals them.

Now, Chico works against Rufus T. Firefly, which is Groucho, and Chico is a hilarious character.  I really like him.  He works at a peanut stand, he can play piano, he's pretty much good at all the musical instruments. He's just funny.  The movie is great.

There's a part in the movie with this mirror and I thought that was a funny part.  Someone breaks a mirror and he copies the guy that looks in the mirror.  He just goes on the other side and copies him.
Wouldn't  that be funny?  If I just broke a mirror in my house and copied whoever looked at it?

I think the funniest joke is the motorcycle and the side car.  There's a side car on the motorcycle, and, Rufus T. Firefly is driving. Harpo is in the sidecar and he starts it and the sidecar goes off instead of the motorcycle!

It's a wild f''d up world out there in the TVs. 

the end :o