I went on The Kamikaze with my brother. The part that made me close my eyes most was when it went around and around and around. It didn't just stop at the top, but used enough force to go all the way around. I couldn't even hear myself think. People were screaming like little girls and boys. Seriously, and I am nine years old. I'm unimpressed with everyone there, because they were all TEENAGERS. I was surprised that they could scream like that. I found out that teenagers truly can be annoying.
If I were allowed to, I would punch the fair managers in the face. Because they removed one of my favorite rides. It doesn't even make sense. It's called the Ali Baba.
The next ride: The Octopus. The green octopus may not be scary at first, but can scare the crap out of you. The centrifugal force crushed my friend, because it's going way too fast. Now, ooh! What's this we have here? My seat is spinning? Very unpleasant.
Ride three: The ferris wheel. It was kind of boring at first, until it was going for a long time without stopping. It went kind of fast this year. Still wasn't too amusing until you get the bejeebeejees scared out of you by the guy who runs the ferris wheel. He rocks your seat back and forth and if you don't get scared by that, he'll yell something at you, like "BOO!" If you ask me, quite a buttface.
Ride four: The Sizzler. It doesn't make sense until the centrifugal force crushes you against the painful metal cages. Okay, last time I remember The Sizzler being a little blue ride that stood two inches from the grass and moved as fast as a snail. But now, centrifugal force has come back to slap me. Centrifugal force has to be the worst thing abou this ride. because 1) it crushes you 2) makes you crush your friends and 3) totally surprises you. When you're sliding inward, you can grab the bar and pull yourself outward until you lose your grip and crash against the cage. Which hurts your hip, a lot.
Ride five: The Tornado. Pretty light, until you go with someone else, who is obsessed with spinning the little wheel. So now you're going faster. And faster, until you're crapping your pants while you speak. An impression of how I see it. STOP SPINNING! PLEASE!! STOP SPINNING IT!
Now, when the ride stops, it seems like it's nice and over. Unless you don't unlock the cage, and get out. Then you'd have to go on the ride again. Although that didn't happen to me. If you took too long, it'd start up and you'd have to go on it again. And if you didn't unlock the cage in time again, I don't know what to tell you if you'd have to go on it a third time.
Ride six: The Roller Coaster, pretty fun at first, until your ears get raped by the sound of this conveyor belt making a noise loud enough to irritate a deaf guy. Pretty loud, huh? No, it gets louder. While you're having fun, it hits all these bumps, which make even more aggravating noise.You try to reach your ears to cover them, but centrifugal force stops you, and when you're done trying to cover your ears, the ride stops. Centrifugal force is a bitch, huh?
Next, the game. The only game I played there. The Hammer Game, You've probably heard of it, once I explain it fully. You take a hammer, and you hit this little thing as hard as you can to win a prize. I got one of the jumbo prizes. BOOM BOOM MUSCLES. My jumbo prize was a five cent, inflatable, ball and chain. Pretty pathetic, right? Until you beat up a bunch of people with it when they try to steal your wrist band as you leave. Came in handy.
Man, I am definitely not looking forward to next year's fair.
